Saturday, May 20, 2006
2:31 AM

It's another sleepless nite 4 me... today went to e funernal... everything went well n smooth. Reach there around 930am..greeted everyone n sat beside him.His dad offered mi to have breakfast but i declined as i did not hv any appetite to eat.Sitting down quietly beside him... my eyes jus cant stop peeping on him as i really miss him so so so much tat how i wish i could grab him n hug him tight... but i can't...:(
At e table,sitting around were all his little cousins...everyone was rushing to fold e joss paper which needed to use 4 e ceremony...1 of hus uncle asked mi to help them out... so i also joined in e folding session.After not long... e praying ceremony started... his aunty(Helen) passed me a digtal camera ... she wans mi to help her take e procedure thru out e ceremony.I was a bit pai seh as it should be a solem ceremony n i'm there to take pics ... so funny.
Finally they have to sealed up e coffin.. so family,relative n frenz can go 4ward to look at him 4 e last time. So i was there to take everyone pictures.All his aunty held his grandmum over to c ... n all started crying... as 4 mi ... i could not control my tears too.I started crying n took pics at e same time. Everyone eyes was teary... really so sad. I saw him(zhen wei) thru e cam... i saw him holding back his tears n being veri strong.I walked over to him n tapped on his shoulder..i did not say anything as i'm not sure of wat to say...
Den e ceremony contiuned n we proceed to mandai cremantorium.At e veiwing hall waiting to c e coffin pushed in,all agreed to not to cry loudly as tata leave us is a gd thing as he dun need to suffer e pain.Slowly seeing e coffin pushed in everyone call out tata ask him rest in peaced n stuff... tears started rolling on everyone faces... including mi ...Finally everything done n all went back to his grandfather hse.There were buffet 4 all... after my lunch... he n his family sitting in e living room.A few of his cousins saw mi sitting alone came over to chat wif mi.They knew abt our broke up n came to console me... they were all veru sad to hear tat we broke. N everyone who saw mi ask y n they told mi they saw his current gf n stuffs... i'm acting brave in front of them... n deep down my heart i'm crying out loud . Feeling so pressured as everyone asked me wat happened n did not asked him.Really tired of saying it cos a time i repeat e story a cut in my heart again.Well its all my fault to have caused things to be like tat.I told them tat as long he's happy wid his current gf n life now let him be... dun ask or pressure him as he's sad n fan now wif sum stuffs.Zhenwei left wid mi ,we took a cab ... i sent him to e nearest MRT station as he's going to meet up his gf.After he alight,my eyes filled wif tears...i cant control my emotions... my mood was to e lowest 2day. As i know tat 4 sure i can't get to see him liao... i'm veri selfish to say as i 'm using his grandfather's funeral to take a look at him. I'll attend e funeral not onli a respect to tata but also a chance 4 me to see n be at his side.I really wish to hug him n say I LOVE U. I know u all must be sian wif my post 2day... but sorry i jus suddenly feel veri emotional. As now i'm crying ... cos my heart bleeding sorry everyone i'll try to cheer up... so sorry

no words can express
my love for you

---

im waiting for the day.

STELLA
09/04/1985
21
BAYSHORE_LING@HOTMAIL.COM
for you to tell me.
#1hobbies
LOVES TO SING #2hobbies
CLUBBING #3hobbies
COLLECTING ASTRO BOY STUFFS #4hobbies
BEING WIF MY SISTAS & FRENZ #5hobbies
SHOPPING
that you love me too.
#1wish
FOR NOW I JUS WISH TO HUG #2wish
BE 2GETHER WIF MY SISTAS #3wish
TO SEE BABY DARIUS #4wish
HMM... SHALL C WAT MY OTHER WISH....LET MI TINK... #5wish